Practical insights about a misunderstood topic
For many women, squirting is like a unicorn: it sounds magical, but c’mon—does it really exist? Those who have never experienced it wonder whether it’s a real thing. We’re here to confirm that yes, squirting is for real. 41% of the women in our research have experienced it. And most of them spent years thinking they couldn’t—so a lot of women who haven't probably can, too!
Valerie
“Pleasure starting and building”
Angie
“I keep a lot of towels around”
Corinne
“A massive letting go”
Many people think (incorrectly) that they’re the same thing. Squirting can feel great, but in a different way from orgasm. Only 20% of women who squirt have orgasms at the same time.
Many women report a warmth, a feeling of tension, and intense pressure turning, unstoppably, into a feeling of release. Emotionally, there’s often a loss of control combined with all thoughts and worries momentarily disappearing.
A lot of women and their partners find something primal about squirting. Sharing the moment of surrender and the potential for messiness can feel really intimate. Many women also find it super emotional, and it even brings some of them to tears.
“For me, it’s less intense than a clitoral orgasm, but more surprising, warmer and encompassing my whole belly and abdomen.”
“Upon squirting, my vision blurs and I get light-headed. Then, immediately afterwards, it feels like I’m falling back into my body.”
“For me, it’s a big physical, psychological, and emotional release. It’s not uncommon for me to shed tears when I squirt.”
“My hearing goes out, my vision gets blurry, my chest and neck become flushed, my body goes numb.”
“For me, it’s less intense than a clitoral orgasm, but more surprising, warmer and encompassing my whole belly and abdomen.”
“Upon squirting, my vision blurs and I get light-headed. Then, immediately afterwards, it feels like I’m falling back into my body.”
Many women who’ve squirted say they were anxious about it for some time until they came to understand what was happening and that it could be pleasurable.
“At first, I couldn’t stop worrying about the mess.”
28% of women who squirt struggled with this for some time. Many found that putting absorbent towels underneath or trying it in the bath or shower helped them not worry.
“It took a while to become sure that I wasn’t about to pee!”
42% of women who squirt say they initially struggled with the way almost-squirting feels like almost-peeing. That concern goes away as you get familiar with the sensation, and realize that pee doesn’t actually come out (even though squirting does come from the same hole, so there are very tiny amounts of pee in it.) Some women empty their bladders beforehand, for extra peace of mind.
“The intensity of pressure that makes me squirt can get uncomfortable sometimes.”
20% of women who’ve squirted struggled at first because the kinds of touch that eventually led to squirting were faster or harder than what usually felt good—and because the buildup to squirting often doesn’t feel pleasurable at first.
“It took some work getting past my anxiety about ‘what if my partner thinks it’s gross afterwards?’ And sometimes with a new partner, I still kind of have to go through that over again.”
“Whenever I get close, I feel hesitation since it feels so much like having to pee. After having squirted a few times, I feel I have proof for myself that I’m not gonna pee—so I relax through it now.”
“I used to hate that I squirted because I thought it made a mess, and didn’t accept it. I had to get over my hang ups to enjoy it, but now it feels empowering, like I’m accepting my body more fully.”
“It took some work getting past my anxiety about ‘what if my partner thinks it’s gross afterwards?’ And sometimes with a new partner, I still kind of have to go through that over again.”
“Whenever I get close, I feel hesitation since it feels so much like having to pee. After having squirted a few times, I feel I have proof for myself that I’m not gonna pee—so I relax through it now.”
We’ve talked to thousands of women about the techniques that lead to squirting. Some involve gentle motion, some harder pressure. Many squirt from stimulation of G-Regions but some from rubbing the clitoris, and a few from anal stimulation. While the methods really vary from woman to woman, there’s one common theme:
The technique that leads to squirting for any one person at first usually causes a weird, unfamiliar feeling of tension inside, queasiness or having-to-pee.
With squirting, that weird sensation is how you know you're on the right path. And whatever created that feeling is what you need to do more of. You or your partner might have already felt this sensation but you probably stopped what you were doing because it didn't feel like a familiar kind of pleasure. Think back: what were you doing when you had that feeling? Was there a certain kind of rubbing in a particular place? Try recreating that.
Based on our research, most women’s experience with squirting generally fits into three stages: Ramp, Rub and Release
Ramp
Warming up the area you’ll stimulate for a long time in the next stage
Rub
Stimulation that builds up the tension, usually for several minutes
Release
Techniques that trigger squirting after the tension has built up
Once you've discovered which kind of touch in which area builds the tension, queasiness or that 'have to pee' feeling for you or your partner, think of that area as needing some preparation. It’s probably going to take some prolonged or intense stimulation to get to squirting. So gently ramp up the touch, warming up the area with a massage that gradually builds up to more pressure or speed.
Try increasing one or more of pressure, speed, duration, and consistency so that it feels like pressure and tension is building and building.
The build up to Squirting often involves harder or faster stimulation than you'd expect.
Stick with it! Sometimes it takes several minutes for the tension to build. So patience and a comfortable position for whoever is doing the stimulating are important.
We’re talking no pauses for coffee breaks, no switching directions. Just keep it steady—repeating the motion over and over and over again. And then over and over some more.
Once the tension and pressure inside have built up so much it feels like it’s about to burst, here are the techniques (by themselves or combined) that help trigger squirting:
Total and complete consistency of motion is the key for 15% of women who squirt. Keeping the same motion all the way through the actual squirting.
21% squirt when they consciously relax their internal muscles after holding them flexed or clenched. The clenching feels like it holds the pressure in, and then suddenly relaxing those muscles opens the floodgates.
13% squirt when they push or bear down like they’re squeezing something out. This means forcefully pushing outward—see Liz’s video below for a demonstration.
17% squirt when they or their partner add a burst of increased speed and pressure—after the tension has built up to what feels like a limit. (But only after that buildup; a speed burst won’t bring on squirting without that.)
10% squirt when what’s in their vagina is pulled out—something about the pulling motion seems to trigger release.
“When I’m close and my partner feels my muscles inside contracting, they pull their fingers out. That release of pressure is what makes me squirt.”
“For me, squirting comes when I power through and don’t ask them to stop even when stimulation feels very intense. Just letting it get more and more until it bursts.”
“With one hand on my lower belly and one hand pushing up from inside, they keep up a motion as fast as they can and when I feel my muscles contracting, I push like pushing to have a baby.”
“When I’m close and my partner feels my muscles inside contracting, they pull their fingers out. That release of pressure is what makes me squirt.”
“For me, squirting comes when I power through and don’t ask them to stop even when stimulation feels very intense. Just letting it get more and more until it bursts.”
A lot of women become more comfortable (and less self-conscious) after they see that their partners like when they squirt, or are even turned on by it. (One study showed that 90% of partners consider squirting a positive thing.) This kind of positive reaction really helps with feeling free enough to totally surrender to squirting.
Sometimes a partner can get so focused on squirting and trying to make it happen that women can feel pressured—as though their partner cares more about achieving a goal than about their pleasure. (Ahem, partners: squirting is awesome, but make sure the potential squirter is as into it as you are!)
Building up to squirting usually means a long session of constant stimulation. It’s common for women to think they’re ‘taking too long’ or that their partner is getting tired. So it really helps when partners make it clear there’s no time limit, and that the process is fun for them whether squirting happens or not. (see more about this in Framing in Season 1.)
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